BEING PRESENT
Gautama’s insight was that no matter what the mind experiences, it usually reacts with craving, and craving always involves dissatisfaction. When the mind experiences something distasteful it craves to be rid of the irritation. When the mind experiences something pleasant, it craves that the pleasure will remain and will intensify. Therefore, the mind is always dissatisfied and restless. – Excerpt from Chapter 12 – Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind
According to him, the only way to be liberated from craving is to train the mind to experience reality as it is. The only time I am not thinking about the past or future is when I am buzzed after a few drinks. For a moment, I don’t care about anything or anyone; I am just enjoying the moment. Unfortunately, this brief moment is followed by a grim realization of how horrible the next morning will be; the headache, the vomiting, and the never-ending agitation. Now that momentary bliss is buried under all the embarrassing stuff, which I will remember vividly forever. Enjoy the flashbacks! Maybe that is why he suggested meditation instead of drugs.
THE CRITIQUE OF MILLENNIAL’S PURSUITS
I don’t know why, but I feel like The Atlantic & The New Yorker have an agenda against millennials. First, they had a problem with us traveling to make ourselves feel better, and now running a marathon is an issue too!
I get why we need to make a case against traveling, people who only talk about the number of countries they have been to are unbearable. Instead, they should brag about getting on those airplanes multiple times a month and feeling like a mummy in a coffin, only to say they have been to Luxembourg.
I don’t get why we are shaming people who want to run a marathon. I can’t run 26.2 miles if I don’t like running. I am a new runner and the only thought I have when I set out to run a mile is – Why am I doing this?
“Maybe you started running for fitness, or because it seemed like a good way to make friends. Or perhaps it was a distraction from an uninspiring and underpaid job. Maybe you wanted an outlet for the frustration you felt at being single and watching your friends couple up. But no matter the reason you started, at some point it became more than a hobby. Your runs got longer, and longer, and longer, until you started to wonder: Should you … sign up for a marathon?” – The Atlantic
Maybe that’s exactly what happened, Maggie. Perhaps I am physically trying to run away from all of the above emotions. What about it though?
“Those who run in pursuit of validation on social media rather than for self-betterment could find that the process leaves them empty, or with low self-esteem. But for those truly committed to the challenge, undergoing the kind of “methodical, consistent, and focused” training that a marathon requires can be “powerful for psychological development,” Doyle Byock said. When approached with intention, the race can have a clarifying power.”
What is the point of this article? Even though I am doing this intense training for social validation, I am still going to get all the health benefits of running. I probably won’t get the social validation, but I will get the same sense of achievement for being disciplined for months as someone training for “the right reasons”. This coping mechanism or quarter-life crises is way better than drinking or shopping my insecurities and sorrow away!
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
That’s the best advice I could find online to overcome negative emotions. Well, I am feeling it! That’s how I know I am overwhelmed. This is probably the most annoying thing you can say to someone already feeling low. Who else is feeling it?
Practical Coping Strategies
- Finding Empathy and Connection
There is a Hindi saying that roughly translates to “Happiness multiplies and sorrow divides or reduces when you share it with others”.
I often feel isolated in my emotions, which is a struggle. I feel like I don’t have people in my life (outside my family) who can empathize with the things I share with them. My friends either don’t or can’t share their feelings with me. I don’t know if it is because they don’t care or if they think I don’t care. I have been focusing on working on that rather than stewing in my feelings and becoming clinically depressed.
- Sleep on it
It calms me down when someone not only tells me that it will pass but also the scientific mechanism of how it will pass. I recently heard a podcast about how improving sleep boosts mood and emotional regulation. Since then I have started keeping a log of my sleep—the duration I am in bed, the duration I am asleep, and what I dream of. I feel like I have 100% battery life physically and mentally on days I get a good night’s sleep. So far it is the best advice I have stumbled upon.
If nothing works, you can always run a marathon!
